HOLY @#!+… We are OFF THE RAILS.

This is about the 567^th time that I have attempted this blog post.  Like many of us, I feel an unfamiliar uneasiness in my soul.  I have prayed for peace for the world, but I feel like inner peace may be a more likely accomplishment.  So, I’ll pray for that… and I will work for that.

In other times that I have sat at this laptop attempting this particular post, I have become confused and angry… and ultimately sad.  WTF is happening.

We can watch the news and hope for an explanation…we can read the articles that offer facts over opinions…we can even have dialog with our fellow humans.  Yet, it is all still muddled before us.

This time of pandemic and racism and turmoil has made me highly introspective.  To know me, is to know me.  My usual “I’ll be happy at all cost, dammit” self has struggled with so many things outside of my control.  I have wanted to shout from the rooftop, “WAIT, y’all have it ALL WRONG!”  I have posted what I feel and met unwarranted criticism from others who do not share my view.

Perhaps therein lies the problem.  If someone feels “right,” then the other must be “wrong.”  OR if someone is “wrong” then the other must be “right.”  Yep, our self-centered society is on full display these days.

Even I, who speaks her mind unapologetically, feel the need to apologize.  I censor myself out of fear of retaliation.  Is that a legitimate fear?  Who knows.  Honesty seems unacceptable anymore.  We must speak our truth, but only if it is the truth that people want to hear.

Take a train, for example…

One car does not make a train.  It takes many cars.  All the same size, same wheels, same screech when it grinds to a halt.  I imagine that God is our lead Engineer, controlling our speed and our braking, and he sees us as equal cars … So let’s imagine:   The locomotive (God) car… followed by the African American car… followed by the Caucasian car… followed by the Democrat car… followed by the Republican car… followed by the LGTBQ car… followed by the straight car… and ANY OTHER TYPES of cars which I did not list (please do not protest this blog, as you matter to God in a train so long that I cannot type them all).

We travel no where at all if the cars are not connected.  If one car is so pissed off at another car that it fights to cut loose, then the entire train falls apart.  BAM… DONE…. OFF THE RAILS.

So, if you follow that analogy, then WTF is our problem?!  My view doesn’t have to be your view.  The only view we need to be concerned with is the view of our Lord.  I can tell you right now that He is probably BOLD typing the whole “love thy neighbor” scripture.  Help us when we get caught in the wrath of His disappointment in us all.  Aren’t we cute to think that we are the Judges?

I am feisty… I am outspoken… and I am highly convicted on my principals.  But, this entire pendulum swing in the realm of our existence has caused me to pause.  I find myself SICK at the injustices towards people… the insanity of the wicked… the mistakes of so many…

We topple history.  We deface those who played a part in it.  We call on our brothers and sisters for change.  We kill the innocent.  We kill the cops.  We loot the stores.  We light the fires.   Basically, we SUCK right now.

We have become such a “my way or the highway” society that we cannot even think to look at any situation from the standpoint of our opposer.

I am from the South, born and raised.  I am a blonde-haired, blue-eyed white girl.  I have been accused of playing a part of systemic racism by simply stating that “all lives matter,” and “I don’t see color.”  The thing is, I truly believe both.  Truly.  I mean absolutely NO disrespect in those statements, although they have and can be misunderstood and translated into ignorance.

In my own experience, I was denied when attempting to adopt African American twin babies… “too white, too blonde”… I was denied student loans because I was white… “check the box:  caucasian”… maybe we should change the “system” and not have any boxes to “check” anymore.

Guess what, I’m not pissed.  I don’t hate the people who decided these things.  Period.  Maybe we should change the “system” instead of hating the person and not have any boxes to “check” anymore.

Yesterday, I questioned my own self.  WHY is the Confederate flag SOO offensive?  SO, I challenged myself to learn.  My knee-jerk reaction is to condemn those who condemn it.  “History.”  However, the history that I knew of was that of the flag atop a kickass car in “The Dukes of Hazard.”  And, before that, the flag of the confederacy in the war.

Yesterday I learned more, though. I found a great article on its significance in history.  I have a greater understanding of its offense.  I have always perceived it as a “red-neck” symbol (SIDE NOTE:  There is a fine line between a Southern red-neck and a Southern Belle… I walk the line😊) my entire life.

I exhale as I type these words, for fear of persecution by those who either disagree with me OR do not believe me.  Lately, no one can say anything… “freedoms” of everything, ya know, do not always seem to apply “freely” to everyone.

I support the police.  I respect authority—even when I don’t agree with it.  I follow the law (ok, well, I got a speeding ticket once).  I support the American flag and all who fought for such freedoms.  I am trying so hard to soften my own views on the kneeling thing.  Frankly, it pisses me off…  but, I know that I do NOT KNOW everything.  And, I know that it is not my place to judge.  I’m working on that, too.  Bear with me… and I’ll bear with you.  Same train, ya know.

We all acquire views from what we have seen, what we have experienced… our pasts, our families, and our situations lead us to have a certain set of eyes.  What if, we could take those eyes and see from the other side?  What if we got out of our own way and truly reached, connecting to the other cars on the track.

Awareness can only be reached by knowing.  You don’t know, until you know.  Maybe you were taught hate.  Maybe you were taught racism.  Maybe you were born a blank slate which became marred through experience.

I have begun to loosen my grip on my “rights.”  I have been reading trying to understand “oppression” when I see so much accomplished.  Read people, get out of your own way, and reach across.  Be gentle to those who protest, and be patient with those who are learning how to undo what they know.

Bad people can lead to bad experiences… but…

Blacks are not bad.  Whites are not bad. Protestors are not bad.  Police are not bad.  Sexual orientation does not make you bad (OK, SOME Christians love this opportunity to preach the scripture on this one… but that is for another person… I believe that love is love and God is love).

At the end of the day, we are not the judgement.

I ask you…

What do you think.

We figure this S#!+ out together.

 

“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord”   HEBEWS 12:14

 

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